A child is often reluctant to give up a security blanket.
Young children frequently develop an attachment to a soft portable item such as baby blanket. When that attachment turns into a seeming dependence, parents are often concerned and assume that they must do something to break the habit. But a child's dependence on a security blanket or other favorite toy actually signals that she is developing the ability to function independently. Before too long, the child will gradually lose his dependence on the blanket and break the habit all on his own.
Why Does a Blanket Provide Security?
Rubbing against a blanket evokes memories of feeding, comfort and security.
From about the age of 6 months on, babies begin to develop a sense of themselves as a separate being, independent of their caregiver. They enjoy this independence and don't want to give it up. But when they are tired or under stress, older babies, toddlers and preschoolers often subconsciously long for a return to the earlier days of infancy, when all they needed to feel secure was to be held in a parent's arms.
When a child rubs her face against a soft object such as a baby blanket or a stuffed toy, it reminds her of the sensation of touching her mother's clothing or the blanket she was wrapped in during feeding when she was very young.
In a series of studies for which he became famous, pediatrician Dr. D. W. Winnicott referred to the security blanket or other item that a child uses to soothe and lessen the stress of separation as a "transitional object." That term has become widely recognized and used in the field of psychology.
Dependence Fostering Independence
If a child seems to require that her blanket is taken everywhere or refuses to sleep without it, there is no cause for alarm. That seeming dependence on the object is enabling the child to grow and develop into an independent person who will not be dependent on her parents for comfort and a sense of security because she can find her own sources of comfort.
Studies are showing that even adolescents and adults can benefit from a "security blanket" of sorts. Dr. Paul Horton, a psychiatrist who focuses on the study of solace techniques, studied and ranked behaviors people use to comfort themselves in difficult times. The study suggests that some private behaviors such as talking to oneself can be highly beneficial in warding off depression.
Keeping it Managable
Rather than trying to break the habit of dependence on a security blanket or other transitional object, parents and caregivers should simply try to manage the dependence. First, it is extremely helpful to have copies of the beloved object and put those copies in use as often as possible. Children usually select their transitional objects between the ages of 8 and 12 months, so when an older baby begins to show a consistent preference for a particular blanket or other item, find some similar items and occasionally give those to the child instead.
Even though the child is still likely to have a favorite among several apparently identical items, he will often accept one of the surrogates if the original is not available. For example, if the favorite blanket with the ducks was left in the car, he will nap with the blanket with a bear on it. And if the blanket with the bear is in the wash, then he'll accept the blanket with the puppy--if he's been used to doing so on a regular basis.
The easiest way to get a child used to multiple versions of an item is to wash them one at a time on a regular basis. That also gets the child used to the smell of a freshly laundered blanket, which is more pleasant for everyone who comes in contact with it.
It's About Control
Children will sometimes aggressively exert control over a favorite toy.
By finding comfort in cuddling with a blanket or other transitional object, a child is able to maintain his independence. Unlike a parent, who controls him, the blanket is an item he controls himself. Parents are often horrified to find a child abusing a favorite love object, stomping on it or throwing it down the stairs. The child is exercising control and maintaining independence.
Let Them Outgrow It
Above all, don't try to force the child to give up the object before she is ready to. If the dependence on the security blanket is ignored, says Dr. Karen Freiberg, developmental psychology professor at University of Maryland-Baltimore County, then children will outgrow the tendency. "They want to be like their parents and older siblings and they see that they don't use a blanket," Freiberg said. "But if you constantly tell them not to, they become more anxious and need it even more. If you want them to stop, reward them for the times they don't use it. But don't punish them when they need it."
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