Families who adopt a child from the foster care system are taking on a huge, sometimes unworkable responsibility. If these families have not been prepared by social workers and psychologists about what to expect, they will not be able to handle their new child's psychological needs. The issues range from family history to developmental, attachment and anger.
Developmental
Children who have been legally freed for adoption (parents' rights have been terminated or they have voluntarily relinquished their parental rights) sometimes feel as if they have been "thrown away," according to Christopher Alexander, a New Mexico child psychologist. These children will act out their negative feelings about themselves on their adoptive parents and siblings.
While this is the case with some adopted children, other children seem to have a deeper well of resiliency and are better able to withstand the huge changes adoption entails. According to Alexander, children who have been adopted are represented in higher numbers in correctional and mental health facilities. Some of these children may have had to go into foster care due to abusive situations in their birth parents' homes and this may be a contributing factor to their psychological maladjustment.
Genetics and Family History
If the adoptive parents have not been given the opportunity to learn the genetic and psychological backgrounds of the children they are adopting, they are unlikely to anticipate the psychological issues and behaviors their new child may bring into their home.
Because many adopted children come from the pool of children placed into foster care, their histories with their biological families has marked them with memories of abandonment, trauma, abuse and familial chaos. These children have tried to adjust to the instability within their birth homes and now have to try to adjust to a situation they know nothing about -- stability, structure and security.
Attachment
Some adopted children have had to end attachments repeatedly. Attachment is the formation of a psychological and emotional connection between child and parents that allows them to have a significance to each other. If they have been in foster care, they are likely to have developed an unhealthy emotional attachment to their birth parents. In their foster home(s), these children have had to work to build an attachment to their foster parents. Because their parents were unable to help them establish a healthy attachment, they will understandably have difficulty developing a healthy attachment to their foster parents. If this issue is not addressed in therapy, they will not be able to build a healthy emotional attachment to their adoptive families, thus laying the groundwork for very disruptive events within the family. If the adoptive families are not aware of the attachment issues of their adoptive children, they are not being given the chance for a successful adoptive placement.
Family Life
Parents who have adopted a child who has lived in foster care need to learn to think of themselves in a therapeutic sense. When they take a parental action with their adoptive child, they need to remember that he will perceive their actions as "permanent." If his birth parents punished him by threatening to leave him, he may view discipline in his new home as the prelude to being abandoned.
Anger
Just because a child has been adopted and transitioned from foster care into a new "forever family," her feelings of loss and abandonment aren't going to magically disappear. She has lost everything she identifies with, and despite the fact that she's living in a new (safe) home, she's angry. She will likely act out, but if it is recognized for what it is, she can be taught handle it in a healthy, productive way.
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