Writing letters is just one way to stay in contact with an open adoption.
"An increasing number of adoption professionals feel that openness between the birth parents, adoptive parents and the child benefits the child, and often all parties involved," explains Adoption.com. However, each adoption situation is different, and all involved parties need to take time to weigh the pros and cons of open adoption before settling on a decision that meets their needs. Knowing the types of open adoption, as well as some common pros and cons of open adoption, help all involved make an informed decision
Types
Family Education, a website that is part of the Family Education Network and the first Internet parenting site, explains that open adoptions can be open or semi-open. In most cases, a semi-open adoption involves the birth parents and adoptive family meeting infrequently before the birth or adoption, and agreeing to a schedule of infrequent or yearly letters and/or pictures to keep the birth mother updated on the child. Contact in a semi-open adoption is usually through the adoption agency or lawyer. Open adoptions involve more frequent contact, and may involve visitation between the child and birth parents. Communication is typically between the birth parents and adoptive families without the use of an intermediary. In addition, Adoption.com explains that in some instances closed adoptions can be converted into open adoptions after the adoption has been finalized.
Pros
For birth parents, the pros of open adoption include control over child placement, comfort of knowing how the child is doing, the potential for playing a role in the child's life, and the potential for an ongoing relationship according to information on the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' (HHS) Child Welfare Information Gateway website. Adoptive parents benefit from knowing the birth parents approve of them as parents, the potential for a relationship with the birth parents, and access to the child's medical history, as well as a reduced fear of the birth parents asking for the child back. HHS explains that in situations where the adopted child is involved in contact with the birth parents, the child benefits by having access to family history, culture and heritage. In addition the child's need to find his birth parents is eliminated, attachment to his adoptive family is more secure, and the potential for a relationship with his birth parents is available.
Cons
HHS explains that the cons of open adoption for the birth parents include the responsibility of creating the boundaries of the open relationship, a possible feeling of obligation to place the child, and potential disappointment if the adoptive family does not meet all of her requirements. For the adoptive family, like the birth parents, the responsibility of creating boundaries is a con of open adoption. A potential feeling of being pressured into open adoption, in addition to the risk of dealing with an emotionally disturbed birth parent, and the chance of becoming emotional support for the birth parents are also challenges to be considered. For the child being adopted, there is no clear break from the birth family to the adoptive family, the challenge of defining his family dynamics to friends and peers, the potential feeling of rejection if contact is stopped, and the possibility of playing the birth parents and adoptive family against each other are all cons of an open adoption.
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